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What is Sextortion?

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A Massachusetts man is on trial. His crime? Stalking. But, it’s probably not what you think. The 48-year-old was chatting and sharing photos with a 16-year-old girl, and these chats and photos were “sexual in nature.” The pair met on social media, and when the girl asked to stop these exchanges, the man threatened to send the shared photos to her friends. This is a case of sextortion.

10DThe Definition of Sextortion

Sextortion is a type of sexting that can have serious consequences. Sexting, of course, at a basic level, is the sharing of nude or sexually explicit photos and chat, usually from one cell phone to another or on social media. The practice is legal when done between consenting adults, but when those under 18 are involved, child pornography and sexual exploitation laws come into play.

Sextortion usually refers to the act of extorting someone by using digital photos that are sex-related. The party doing the extorting will usually demand something like property, money, sex, or another service from the victim. If the victim doesn’t meet the demands, the one doing the extorting threatens that they will share or distribute the sexually explicit photos.

What Can You Do If You are Being Sextorted?

If you believe that you are being sextorted, there are some things that you can do depending on the conditions. First, if you are under 18, you are protected by child pornography and child sexual exploitation laws will come into play. If you are over the age of 18, you might be protected by various laws including stalking, sexual harassment, extortion, or wiretapping.

For those who are under 18, the first thing to do is tell a parent or adult. However, keep in mind that some people are “mandated reporters,” such as teachers. This means that they are required by law to report any instance of sexual victimization of anyone under the age of 18. Keep in mind charges in some cases can be brought against anyone involved, even hypothetically, whether they are guilty of a crime, or not. I’ve seen cases where two 15 year olds consented to sending each other sexting pics and each of them were charged, and each were victims, even though they consented, but were under age. So, it’s better to work directly with a parent or other close adult.

Your Options for Sextortion Help

You have a number of options when seeking out help for sextortion:

  • Contact a Crisis Hotline – There are crisis hotlines and chat services available that will allow you to remain anonymous during this process. Usually, these organizations will refer you to local people who can help.
  • Contact a Victim Advocate – Many counties, police stations, and crisis centers have victim advocates and social workers available for these situations. These people can help you put together a plan and get a protection order against the person who is threatening you.
  • Contact a Legal Aid Organization – Simply doing a Google search will help you to find a local legal aid organization. In this case, just search “legal assistance” or “legal aid.”
  • Reach Out to a Lawyer – If you have a case and have gotten legal advice and evidence, you can contact a lawyer. They will help you to remove any photos that have been posted online.
  • Contact the Police – File a report by contacting local law enforcement.
  • Tell a School Counselor – You will get the wheels turning when telling a school counselor. Remember, they are required by law to report the incident.

Advice for the Parents of Victims

Many young people are reluctant to tell adults about sextortion and sexting for several reasons. They might believe they will make the situation worse or they might believe that they will be judged. Some might also believe that they will face criminal actions, too.

If your child does tell you about possible sextortion, make sure that they know you are there for them no matter what. With this type of loving and supportive communication, you will be able to deal with this situation as a team.

Ask your child to tell you their side of the story, and then take it from there. You might want to communicate with people you both have trust in. This way you can fill the gaps. You might also consider contacting any social media services where photos were shared, such as Facebook. They will usually help. It is also a good idea to contact a victim advocate, as they know what type of evidence to look for that can be used in court. Finally, make sure to report the person via social media, which will help to block the accused account.

Robert Siciliano personal security and identity theft expert and speaker is the author of 99 Things You Wish You Knew Before Your Identity Was Stolen. See him knock’em dead in this identity theft prevention video.

Self-Defense and Sexual Assault Prevention

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If you reach your hand to a strange dog loose on the street to pet it on top of the head, and it mauls your hand, whose fault is this? One camp would put most of the blame on the dog owner. But most people would blame the victim.

1SDBut everyone with half an ounce of sense would agree on one thing: Whose fault it is has NOTHING to do with the importance of doing whatever it takes to prevent a dog attack.

This same principle applies to sexual assault against women. An article on vice.com says that feminist Julie Lalonde isn’t too comfortable with the idea of pushing self-defense lessons on women to help prevent rape. Lalonde believes that promoting self-defense skills encourages the idea that rape is a woman’s fault.

The vice.com article quotes her talking of how society is constructed such that”…if a woman is sexually assaulted and she hasn’t taken a self-defense class, then it was her fault because she could have prevented her rape and didn’t.”

This mindset is one sandwich and the entire blanket short of a picnic. Again, fault has nothing to do with taking whatever measures are necessary to protect oneself! If it can be accomplished with self-defense lessons, then go for it!

Here’s a question for Lalonde and likeminded folks: Which is easier, teaching a woman self-defense or eliminating the urge to rape in a sociopath? Perhaps Lalonde can explain what sort of tactics have been proven to kill a sociopath’s or psychopath’s desire to violate a woman? Last time I checked, none exist (don’t say “chopping it off”; I’m talking about realistically, in our society).

What’s realistic and ethical is self-defense lessons. A study headed by Charlene Senn compared women (900 total) who were assigned self-defense training (which included psychological aspects such as assessing a situation) to women who were given only brochures on sexual crimes.

Rape was reduced among the first group of women (self defense) 5.2 percent, vs. the brochure group (9.8 percent), 12 months out from the study’s interventions.

Do not people such as Lalonde realize how easy it is to disable a man? Has she never seen a man become immobilized with pain upon accidentally hitting his knee into the edge of a cocktail table?

Or perhaps she’s seen too many movies and TV shows in which a man is shown being slammed over the head with a two-by-four, then taking half a dozen punches by another man, kicked in the ribs, knocked off a ledge and falling 10 feet, and despite all that, he ends up beating the tar out of his attacker. In real life, one good sock to the temple will knock a man’s lights out.

Self-defense doesn’t just involve punches and kicks, but depending on the style, focuses on using the laws of physics to put an attacker in a joint lock.

Predators look for prey. High quality self-defense schools teach women NOT to behave like prey, but to behave defensively when needed.

Robert Siciliano personal and home security specialist to BestHomeSecurityCompanys.com discussing burglar proofing your home on Fox Boston. Disclosures.

Sex Offender Registration Force Some to Hide

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In Cleveland the county Sheriff checks to see if registered sex offenders are in fact living where they say they do. Determining the currently location of a sex offender helps law enforcement and the community to know if the sex offender is in compliance or maybe hiding and possibly up to no good. One would think if they are compliant, they are trying to assimilate.

Certainly they can be up to no good if they are compliant with the registry, but this is just another reason to check on them. In Cleveland about 2/3rds claim to live at a mens homeless shelter. But reports state none of them have been there in months.

The Plain Dealer reports Increasingly stringent limitations on where sex offenders can live have driven many to register under false addresses and live off the grid — beyond monitoring and treatment, say sex offender management and re-entry specialists.

And as the county’s list of sex offenders grows to more than 3,000, with fewer resources to monitor them, it is impossible to know how many might have registered under one location and are living at another.

Many state laws restrict sex offenders from living within 1000 feet of a school or park for obvious reasons. In the plains of Africa, the lions follow the herds of gazelle to stalk their prey. Sex offenders go where their prey is.  In response laws were set up to prohibit such behavior.  In some states where no laws exists many towns have their own ordinances with the same restrictions. This “not in my back yard” strategy seems to be backfiring in many municipalities.

Regardless, it is necessary for you to keep tabs in your own neighborhood of who lives there and their history. Checking names to determine if they are a sex offender is often effective in determining if they have been convicted of an offence.

Robert Siciliano is a Personal Security Expert and Adviser to Intelius.com. For more information see Intelius at Sex Offender Check to reduce your chances of encountering a bad guy. See him discussing Sex Offenders on Fox Boston. (Disclosures)

Sex Offender Registry: Good or Bad?

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Millions of parents, employers, and others are concerned about sex offenders living in their neighborhoods. It is imperative that a citizen has the right to find identifying location information on sex offenders where they reside, work, and go to school.

There is a debate on Forbes about sex offender registries value and whether or not they actually protect citizens.

Understand that a sex predator is “normal”. It’s their version of normal. It’s the way they are wired. This breed of human may look like you and I, they often appear to act like us, but their thought process is one that differs significantly from ours. They have an entirely different set of boundaries that doesn’t equate to what most people agree to as proper. Talk to any psychologist or psychiatrist and they will tell you there are many versions of what normal is.

Sex offender registries have been around for over a decade and are often decentralized public and private resources.

For more than 50 years, states like California have required sex offenders to register with their local law enforcement agencies. However, information on the whereabouts of these sex offenders was not available to the public until the implementation of the Child Molester Identification Line in July 1995. The information available was further expanded by California’s Megan’s Law in 1996 (Chapter 908, Stats. of 1996). Since that time sex offender registries have popped up in every state and federally.

Some argue that people who end up on the different registries that were accused of crimes such as urinating in public, or an 18 year old having consensual sex with a 17 year old is a reason why the sex offender registries need to be abolished. I agree that laws need to be revamped and some sex offenders need to be re-categorized, But the mere fact that we have hundreds of thousands of living breathing predators in our midst, it’s definitely necessary to take a head count and keep tabs on their whereabouts.

Robert Siciliano is a Personal Security Expert and Adviser to Intelius.com. For more information see Intelius at Sex Offender Check to reduce your chances of encountering a bad guy. See him discussing sex offenders on CBS Boston. (Disclosures)